If you have read the book that my husband Chad and I wrote called Marriage Advance, Love Never Gives Up; you will learn that from a young age, I was searching for somebody to love me. Sadly I was dealing with rejection and insecurity that no young girl should ever experience. I strongly feel that my parents never intended for me to feel this way, but I did, and them divorcing before I was two years old may have been a part of that emptiness inside of me. My parents did what they could to meet mine and my brother’s needs; we were never hungry or cold. I just wanted to be somebody’s little princess. Little did I know, I was so much more than a princess, I was a Masterpiece, created by God to do good things.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
I found Jesus at the age of ten. He was the one person I know loved me unconditionally because I sang the song Jesus Loves me this I know for the bible tells me so. However, that song wasn’t going to cut it through adolescents. As many young girls do, I searched for Love, and at the age of 17, I found it. Here he was “LOVE” wrapped up in a young, dark, and handsome United States Marine. Chad was the first person ever to value me. He was my prince charming, and I was his princess.
Becoming Chad’s wife on July 15th, 1995 brought me happiness that I had never experienced. Off the bat, I believed in my heart that this lovable husband of mine would never fail me emotionally. I dreamed of our future together with beautiful children and a white picket fence. To sum it up, Chad was going to be the one to give me a fairy tale ending.
When married life didn’t go as planned, my heart was once again shattered, leaving me feeling unloved and unwanted. The fact is, I expected Chad to do something for me that he was never created to do. I wish I understood that before I said: “I Do.” Once I took Chad off of that pedestal and replaced him with Jesus, I began to find wholeness. I am loved unconditionally and am never alone, no matter what my circumstances are around me. For the first time, I began to grasp onto that it meant to be God’s Poiema (greek for masterpiece).
Learning to put Jesus first in my life and marriage took time. I am still in the process of learning. Reading the Word of God and applying it to my daily life is a must if I want to be whole. Living for Jesus has given me the encouragement to give grace and forgiveness that I would have never been able to offer on my own. I am OK now with my Childhood. I see now that my parents were also looking for Love.
Today I do have three beautiful children (19, 21 and 22) and an incredible “old” dark and handsome United States Marine (once a Marine, always a Marine) husband who loves me like crazy. Chad and I have a love for each other that we know would not be possible if it wasn’t for us inviting Christ to be in the center of our marriage and family. My heart is that my children will see who they are in Christ no matter their circumstances, and that is my heart for you.
Please do not wait until life, people and heartache fail you to grasp onto who you are in Christ. The pressure we place on others to make us feel valued and loved can be fatal in our relationships. Allow Christ to be the one to tell you who you are and how much you are loved. If you allow His truth to sink in, we will set others free from an expectation that they were not created to do.
I encourage you to:
- Open the Word of God to learn who you are and stay away from social media! Fakebook is not going to give you the truth of who you are.
- I have found a three-part series called Altar Ego from Pastor Craig Groeschel at Life Church, Oklahoma. Take some time to listen as he teaches you the truth of who God says you are.
- Ask one or two of your God-loving friends to come alongside you to encourage you. And when you’re feeling discouraged, reach out to them for wisdom and or prayer.
- Write on an index card three or more of your favorite scriptures that remind you of the Love God has for you and who He says you are. Post it on your bathroom mirror, car dash, office cubical or above the toilet 🙂 Whenever works for you to see it every day several times a day.