When we are angry and hurt, we look for someone to whom we can vent, and boy, if they agree with us, watch out! Let the bashing party begin! Who is that person(s) that you go to? Ask yourself, do they produce good fruit? Meaning: is he or she giving you advice and support that are in line with God’s will for your life, or are they leading you down a path of destruction that does not follow God’s will for your life?
He that walketh with the wise man shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
Proverbs 13:20 KJV
Walking with a companion of fools is not helpful if you are going to forgive. This will only add fuel to the fire. I can hear you saying now, “I can never forgive!” I thought the same thing. I know there are many of you who have been through horrific and tragic events in your life. I am truly sorry, and if you know me, you would know that I would personally take away your pain from you if I could. The truth is forgiveness sets us free no matter what we have experienced. God’s word has instructed us to forgive our offenders. I see now that one of the reasons we are to forgive is because God doesn’t want to see us held down by the chains unforgiveness keeps us in. He wants to set you free and give you life. That’s what Jesus Christ did for you.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, Just as Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
I have heard it said that holding on to unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. There came a time in my life when I made a choice: I did not want to stay chained down and drink poison anymore. I wanted freedom.
When I decided to walk in forgiveness, one of the steps that I took was cutting out some friends and even harder, a few family members. “Wow, is that hard.” I also made the choice to stop bashing my husband and others who hurt me because I could not continue to feed the bitterness and hate that the enemy was using to destroy me if I wanted to find freedom in forgiveness. Please understand that cutting them out did not mean I was turning my back on them. It was just time to stop the bashing party. I knew that I had to avoid all negative talk. I began to watch my mouth by no longer allowing myself to verbally express everything that I was feeling especially with people who agreed with me and thought that divorcing my husband was best for me.
If you are ready to walk in forgiveness, today is the day to stop the Hate Bashing and Watch You Mouth.
I encourage you to:
- Get connected with someone in your church that truly loves the Lord and knows His word. This person is going to help you find hope when you feel like there is no hope.
- Think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable. When you think of such things, the words that come from our mouths change. This is the best antidote for bitterness.
- Study the promises that God has for you.
Kathy Robichaux 
Beautifully written! Thank you for what you do so we are reminded we are not alone!
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I agree with you!!!
Forgiveness is the only way, period!!!
God has always given me a forgetful forgiveness type of heart through my whole life including my husband. We have been together for 16 yrs and though it has been rough to say the least I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He was damaged from the get go and that broke my heart. Although he was very verbally abusive his physical abuse towards me was not alot, but it did happen . Somehow through the grace of God I forgave and moved on to the next day praying it will be better. God has never left me and I feel it. My heart wants to heal his hurt, his pain, his brokenness, but I can not, only God can if my husband allows him, but he is and has always been struggling with that since he was a boy. I have never truly bashed my husband because I didnt trust others not to tell someone who could then ruin his career his life he had worked so hard for, so I suffered in silence . I did talk with my good friend Debbie, the ppl astor’s wife, who became a Wonderful sister in Christ for me, sadly last year on my husband’s birthday she died too early in life at 57. Our hearts are still broken for her. She listened, loved, cared and was strong in her faith with God, she was peaceful and firm, always listening but would know just when to slow you down and change your anger and hurt into celebration, she was amazing…. she was and still is my pal… she even went so far as to pray with my husband at his firehouse, she wasn’t worried about what anyone thought, only pleasing God…
My thing is that I want and need my husband to get off the fence, trust God with all his hurts and worries and fears and walk with God and trust he will take his pain away and use it for good!!! My husband is an Amazing man that I am thankful for everyday, and I pray everyday that God will heals his heart, his pain and set him free and onto a path of forgiveness…
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So well written and so true. Thank you so much for the inspirational words.
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Kathy, thank you for speaking out. The freedom found in forgiveness is difficult to describe. It’s not like the memory is gone, but the intense sting is. Forgiveness is a magnificent gift we give ourselves. It’s a “one small gift at a time” type thing. It’s taken decades for me to grasp, but I’m so grateful God didn’t give up on me in the process.
Keep speaking out, girl! I’m so grateful to have had the chance to spend some time with you in the counseling course. God has given you a magnificent opportunity… giving voice to what needs to be said. 💕 Blessings to you!!
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Thank you Kathy for this reminder from God’s word. Being hurt recently by family members, it is extremely timely! My take away from your advice is that it is imperative for me to walk in forgiveness quickly before I do or say something to make things worse. Thank you for this 😊
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Very excited you are doing this blog! Looking forward to reading more.
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Your post extremely cool. I glad to be here. I enjoyed reading your articles. Thanks and keep up the good work!
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