My Prayer Book – Journaling

As I was going through some dark days, someone suggested journaling to me. I had never journaled and expressing my feelings and thoughts did not come easy to me, especially on paper. At first, I found myself running to my journal when I was experiencing emotions of intense anger caused by a hurting and broken heart. Those pages were full of tears, sadness, and sorrow. When I look through most of my journaling during that time, I am unable to read half of what I wrote. It could be because my spelling is horrible, but the fact is, the words that were pouring out did not make any sense. The pain was beyond my understanding. What looked like scribble-scratch then is something I now look at as art. It was a tapestry in the making as the words of despair wove together with words of surrender and then eventually words of praise.  

Journaling for me first started as a form of crying and shouting out to God for His help. I wanted so badly for Him to rescue me and my children from the agony we were going through. It also became a way for me to express whatever I wanted without judgment. Let me just say that hateful and ugly words are found on many pages. 

However, today, I call my journal my Prayer Book. There are some days that I am giving thanks and praising Him for the good and sometimes even for the bad (I try). I have days that I am pleading for my children in fear. Other days you will see that familiar scribble-scratch which usually means there is some serious hurt involved. Talking (or shouting) to God in my prayer book through my writings was one more tool that I used in the process of walking in forgiveness. Like I said before, I knew that expressing everything that I was feeling to my husband would not get us anywhere because we were two broken people expecting the other person to fix themselves which only caused strife and misunderstanding. Taking my burdens to the God of Love and laying them at His feet gave me comfort that no one and no thing were able to give me.

Cast your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. 
Psalms 55:22

If you are ready to walk in forgiveness, today is the day to cast your burdens to the Lord. 

I encourage you to:

1. Develop a personal relationship with Jesus.
2. Talk to Him as if He is the closest person to you. Invite Him to see the deepest recesses of your heart. By doing this, you will find that you are not alone. He will bring you comfort in your pain and direction to your next steps. 
3. Before all the craziness of your day starts, take a few minutes each day talking to God in prayer and reading His word. If you like the idea of talking to God through journaling, purchase a journal, your favorite pen and get started even if it’s just scribble-scratch that only He can understand.